An epic fail.
With the death of celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain by suicide, another soul is lost to the wasteland of depression. It shows that what we are doing now is not working, and it has to change.
What bothers me so much is when a celebrity commits suicide people give an 800 number for suicide prevention and say get some help if you need it. What would be great is if the medical field and society got the person some help before their tragic end. It’s also strange that we accept so many on medications as a treatment, until a person commits suicide and then we say they should talk to someone.
I’m not naive; depression has been around forever and no culture will probably ever get rid of it. In some cases though a patient may be helped with proper medical counseling. If needed, medications can also be used. On the other hand what is going on in the U.S. is a HUGE fail when it comes to our suicide problem. Handing patients powerful meds and saying good luck doesn’t work.
HMO’s and Drug Companies Team Up to Market Medications:
One service that health insurance organizations found was killing their revenues was counseling. Over the years they found out that counseling was expensive, time consuming, and some patients needed it for years. It didn’t matter that it could work on many people; what mattered was that it was costly. What to do about the problem? Give a drug. It’s easy, takes up little to no time, and it’s profitable for both the insurance company and the drug company. And before laws changed, the perks and gifts that doctors got to push these drugs were of legend. I’m stopping here before I get into trouble.
Over the years drug companies went on a huge advertising campaign to get people to use their medications, and it’s unreal how intense it has become. The other day I watched network television for the first time in a while and I was shocked. I used the DVR and counted 14 commercials and EIGHT of them were drug commercials.
With the help of insurance companies and physicians, the drug companies created a society of drug addicts. Slowly, counseling became a thing of the past and giving medications became the rage. Insurance companies profits sky rocketed and drug companies made more money than they knew what to do with while patients suffered. One medication can make billions of dollars per year. Now millions of patients are on powerful medications with little to no counseling. Some of these meds are so powerful it makes heroine seem like candy. Many people are getting addicted.
With opiates alone, some will have phantom pain when they try to get off of them creating more of an addiction. People pop these dangerous pills like tic tacs but they often still struggle because their problems are not fixed, just medicated. Instead of a professional helping them through their issues and how to handle situations better, they are drugged and unprepared. Patients at times are also part of the problem. We want fixes fast, easy, and with no fuss. Popping a pill to fix everything is just the ticket for our lackadaisical society.
Now thousands die from prescription drug overdoses without an end in site. Our society accepts it even though there were almost 45,000 suicides in 2016 in the U.S. And those are only the recorded ones. Since 1999, the suicide rate in the U.S. has increased a whopping 24%. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.
AMAZINGLY 250,000 INFANTS are now on psychotropic medications in the U.S. That is CRIMINAL! Are you kidding me? Now infants are depressed? OMG. Please Americans; stop the insanity. What is scary is these are only the confirmed cases listed by the Center of Disease Control.
How to Help the Situation:
First off, we need to teach our society that needing therapy is NOT a weakness. Counseling can and does greatly help people.
Second, there is no 100% easy fix. Sadly, some are overcome by the pain in their lives or the hopelessness that they feel. Some do have mental illnesses that need medications but for various reasons, they don’t survive. Some get addicted to drugs and alcohol and refuse to be helped. It’s not cut and dry. People usually commit suicide not to die, but to stop hurting. That’s why therapy is so, so, important. Giving someone medications doesn’t make the hurt go away, it numbs it.
I feel citizens must demand that Congress create a code of ethics and a procedure for fighting depression. Counseling HAS to be a key element of this. Insurance companies are not going to do counseling again unless they are made to. Obviously for some, medications are needed to cope with their mental illness but surely not a majority of depressed people need them long term.
They need to understand what is going on with themselves and how to cope with the pain they are feeling. So many have abuses or childhood trauma’s that create immense pain. Some will say, well I have a chemical imbalance. Alright, what chemical? Let’s balance it. These generic phrases to justify going on medications doesn’t cut it anymore.
I’ve dated and known some people that crumble at the sign of any stress or difficult situations and I’ve encouraged them to get help. One friend thank God reached out for help and has greatly improved. She went to a good therapist for months. She said it changed her life. She now takes no meds and has the coping skills and techniques to handle situations that were created by emotional abuse. I also agree with many that not all therapists are good. Her first one told her to get on dating sites and date men to find companionship to make her happy. The opposite happened.
Now that she’s doing so well she loves the fact that she’s off all medications when before getting help, she said she was on 7 of them. Another friend after 9 months of counseling is getting off her meds and also feels like a million bucks. We must make counseling a paid service as a part of our health plans that is pushed by the doctors. Again, needing therapy is not a weakness and people should encourage others to get help. Sometimes going through counseling, drug therapy helps as well.
Parents Can Help the Situation:
Good parenting also plays a role. Teach your kids to respect everyone because you don’t know who is struggling. On the other hand talk to them and belong to every social media site they are on and check it regularly. Many kids will not come forward so you have to take the initiative.
If you do not learn how to handle stress, disappointment, tragedy or difficult people when you are young, you sure in the heck aren’t going to magically handle it when you are an adult. It’s important not to handle every tiny thing for our kids. They even have ridiculous seminars now on how to handle young adult workers so you will make them happy and you won’t upset them. It’s shocking how emotionally handicapped an entire generation has become due to people spoiling so many.
Let’s All Listen:
I hate when I hear some people say, I don’t really like to talk, I text. Well sorry, so do robots. Put down your phone and communicate with me.
I often look into a restaurant or even a bar and see people that are sitting together not talking with each other and looking at their stupid phones with their mouths open like zombies. When I go somewhere with someone, the first thing I say is “excuse me, I’m sorry. Let me turn off/silent my cell phone”. EVERY TIME the person or people with me will silence or turn off their phones. What I’m telling these people is that I’m going to listen to them. You will be amazed at how much better your interaction will be.
The only way to learn about something or someone is to listen. With social media and cell phones taking over, now many are self important and feel they are curing cancer when they open their mouths and say something. Now everyone is an expert. Truly listening to someone is one of the kindest things you can do for them.
Stop The Negativity & the Hate:
Stop the stupid political hate and social media nastiness. Fun fact; one party is as screwed up as the other so blindly following either is pretty ridiculous in my book. If people would show as much loyalty to their loved ones and friends as they do to their stupid political party affiliation, the U.S. would be a lot nicer place to be. And a lot smarter. Racism, sexism and anger cloud the mind. They do not create peace, or contentment, thus do not associate with it. So much murder and chaos on television. Reality shows with scripted fighting and drama. Social media nonsense. Political fighting like little kids. Rarely is there anything positive or happy anymore.
We all get depressed and down sometimes. I remember I’ve been really low at times thinking there was no hope. Those are the times though I rely on the things that get me through the day until I can see light. I was taught how to deal with hardships from my parents and the lessons I learned as a child help me today. Even if you have those skills sometimes we still need some help.
For others, they may not have those tools, or are just really struggling. They have to get that help in the form of talking with professionals and getting a plan on how to beat the struggles that are faced. Loving friends and family to discuss things help a ton as well.
Some people have chronic mental illness. Some have emotional pain that has never been dealt with. Some have money or tax issues or relationship/family problems. Unless it’s a true mental illness though, you have to deal with the foundational problem and not just mask it with medications for the rest of their lives. For some, medications have to be used but for many, they just need support.
As a society let’s not wait until someone is on the ledge of a mountain before we give them an 800 number to call to get help. Let’s give these people support and someone to talk to in the valley before they climb up the cliff.
Anthony Bourdain was not a culinary genius or the greatest of chefs, but what made him popular was he was real. He was a quality chef who was honest about his talents and his thoughts. He was one of us traveling the world enjoying food without political correctness or limitations. We saw the inner belly of societies that many in the U.S. never get to see, with an open mind and an open heart. Non-judgemental in a way that brings people together.
Suicide is so raw and painful to those left behind. The way I will remember Anthony though is from the end of the episode of his first series “A Cooks Tour”, Childhood Flavors. He and his brother Chris went to Arcachon, France where his father grew up and where they spent many vacations. He said that maybe he and Chris were actually emotionally looking for their dad.
At the end of the episode after throwing firecrackers in old Nazi bunkhouses that sat on the beach, Anthony and Chris looked back thinking about how much their father would have loved it. He talked about the pure joy on his father’s face when they were on the beach at Cap Ferret as kids. A family having fun, eating baguettes, cheese, and sausage, with a glass of cheap red wine in hand. A sense of true contentment.
With this sad act, I hope Anthony has found peace. I somehow see Anthony meeting with his father again at the beach. Anthony’s greatest food adventure ever, that we all know he took far too soon.