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“Remembering Anthony Bourdain. The Epic Fail of the US Treating Depression, and How to Better Help Those Struggling With It”

Anthony bourdain

An epic fail.

With the death of celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain by suicide, another soul is lost to the wasteland of depression. It shows that what we are doing now is not working, and it has to change.

What bothers me so much is when a celebrity commits suicide people give an 800 number for suicide prevention and say get some help if you need it. What would be great is if the medical field and society got the person some help before their tragic end. It’s also strange that we accept so many on medications as a treatment, until a person commits suicide and then we say they should talk to someone.

I’m not naive; depression has been around forever and no culture will probably ever get rid of it.  In some cases though a patient may be helped with proper medical counseling.  If needed, medications can also be used. On the other hand what is going on in the U.S. is a HUGE fail when it comes to our suicide problem.  Handing patients powerful meds and saying good luck doesn’t work.

https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMrgQ_dOyhk

HMO’s and Drug Companies Team Up to Market Medications:

One service that health insurance organizations found was killing their revenues was counseling.   Over the years they found out that counseling was expensive, time consuming, and some patients needed it for years. It didn’t matter that it could work on many people; what mattered was that it was costly. What to do about the problem? Give a drug. It’s easy, takes up little to no time, and it’s profitable for both the insurance company and the drug company. And before laws changed, the perks and gifts that doctors got to push these drugs were of legend. I’m stopping here before I get into trouble.

Over the years drug companies went on a huge advertising campaign to get people to use their medications, and it’s unreal how intense it has become. The other day I watched network television for the first time in a while and I was shocked. I used the DVR and counted 14 commercials and EIGHT of them were drug commercials.

With the help of insurance companies and physicians, the drug companies created a society of drug addicts. Slowly, counseling became a thing of the past and giving medications became the rage. Insurance companies profits sky rocketed and drug companies made more money than they knew what to do with while patients suffered.   One medication can make billions of dollars per year. Now millions of patients are on powerful medications with little to no counseling. Some of these meds are so powerful it makes heroine seem like candy. Many people are getting addicted.

With opiates alone, some will have phantom pain when they try to get off of them creating more of an addiction. People pop these dangerous pills like tic tacs but they often still struggle because their problems are not fixed, just medicated. Instead of a professional helping them through their issues and how to handle situations better, they are drugged and unprepared. Patients at times are also part of the problem. We want fixes fast, easy, and with no fuss. Popping a pill to fix everything is just the ticket for our lackadaisical society.

Now thousands die from prescription drug overdoses without an end in site. Our society accepts it even though there were almost 45,000 suicides in 2016 in the U.S. And those are only the recorded ones.  Since 1999, the suicide rate in the U.S. has increased a whopping 24%. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/

AMAZINGLY 250,000 INFANTS are now on psychotropic medications in the U.S. That is CRIMINAL! Are you kidding me? Now infants are depressed? OMG. Please Americans; stop the insanity. What is scary is these are only the confirmed cases listed by the Center of Disease Control.

How to Help the Situation:

First off, we need to teach our society that needing therapy is NOT a weakness. Counseling can and does greatly help people.

Second, there is no 100% easy fix. Sadly, some are overcome by the pain in their lives or the hopelessness that they feel. Some do have mental illnesses that need medications but for various reasons, they don’t survive. Some get addicted to drugs and alcohol and refuse to be helped. It’s not cut and dry. People usually commit suicide not to die, but to stop hurting. That’s why therapy is so, so, important. Giving someone medications doesn’t make the hurt go away, it numbs it.

I feel citizens must demand that Congress create a code of ethics and a procedure for fighting depression. Counseling HAS to be a key element of this. Insurance companies are not going to do counseling again unless they are made to.  Obviously for some, medications are needed to cope with their mental illness but surely not a majority of depressed people need them long term.

They need to understand what is going on with themselves and how to cope with the pain they are feeling.  So many have abuses or childhood trauma’s that create immense pain.  Some will say, well I have a chemical imbalance. Alright, what chemical? Let’s balance it. These generic phrases to justify going on medications doesn’t cut it anymore.

I’ve dated and known some people that crumble at the sign of any stress or difficult situations and I’ve encouraged them to get help. One friend thank God reached out for help and has greatly improved. She went to a good therapist for months.   She said it changed her life.   She now takes no meds and has the coping skills and techniques to handle situations that were created by emotional abuse.   I also agree with many that not all therapists are good. Her first one told her to get on dating sites and date men to find companionship to make her happy. The opposite happened.

Now that she’s doing so well she loves the fact that she’s off all medications when before getting help, she said she was on 7 of them. Another friend after 9 months of counseling is getting off her meds and also feels like a million bucks. We must make counseling a paid service as a part of our health plans that is pushed by the doctors. Again, needing therapy is not a weakness and people should encourage others to get help.  Sometimes going through counseling, drug therapy helps as well.

Parents Can Help the Situation:

Good parenting also plays a role. Teach your kids to respect everyone because you don’t know who is struggling.  On the other hand talk to them and belong to every social media site they are on and check it regularly.  Many kids will not come forward so you have to take the initiative.

If you do not learn how to handle stress, disappointment, tragedy or difficult people when you are young, you sure in the heck aren’t going to magically handle it when you are an adult. It’s important not to handle every tiny thing for our kids.  They even have ridiculous seminars now on how to handle young adult workers so you will make them happy and you won’t upset them. It’s shocking how emotionally handicapped an entire generation has become due to people spoiling so many.

Let’s All Listen:

I hate when I hear some people say, I don’t really like to talk, I text. Well sorry, so do robots. Put down your phone and communicate with me.

I often look into a restaurant or even a bar and see people that are sitting together not talking with each other and looking at their stupid phones with their mouths open like zombies. When I go somewhere with someone, the first thing I say is “excuse me, I’m sorry. Let me turn off/silent my cell phone”. EVERY TIME the person or people with me will silence or turn off their phones. What I’m telling these people is that I’m going to listen to them. You will be amazed at how much better your interaction will be.

The only way to learn about something or someone is to listen. With social media and cell phones taking over, now many are self important and feel they are curing cancer when they open their mouths and say something.   Now everyone is an expert. Truly listening to someone is one of the kindest things you can do for them.

Stop The Negativity & the Hate:

Stop the stupid political hate and social media nastiness. Fun fact; one party is as screwed up as the other so blindly following either is pretty ridiculous in my book. If people would show as much loyalty to their loved ones and friends as they do to their stupid political party affiliation, the U.S. would be a lot nicer place to be. And a lot smarter. Racism, sexism and anger cloud the mind. They do not create peace, or contentment, thus do not associate with it. So much murder and chaos on television. Reality shows with scripted fighting and drama.   Social media nonsense. Political fighting like little kids. Rarely is there anything positive or happy anymore.

Jim’s Jamz:

We all get depressed and down sometimes. I remember I’ve been really low at times thinking there was no hope. Those are the times though I rely on the things that get me through the day until I can see light. I was taught how to deal with hardships from my parents and the lessons I learned as a child help me today. Even if you have those skills sometimes we still need some help.

For others, they may not have those tools, or are just really struggling.  They have to get that help in the form of talking with professionals and getting a plan on how to beat the struggles that are faced. Loving friends and family to discuss things help a ton as well.

Some people have chronic mental illness.  Some have emotional pain that has never been dealt with. Some have money or tax issues or relationship/family problems. Unless it’s a true mental illness though, you have to deal with the foundational problem and not just mask it with medications for the rest of their lives.  For some, medications have to be used but for many, they just need support.

As a society let’s not wait until someone is on the ledge of a mountain before we give them an 800 number to call to get help.   Let’s give these people support and someone to talk to in the valley before they climb up the cliff.

Remembering Anthony:

Anthony Bourdain was not a culinary genius or the greatest of chefs, but what made him popular was he was real. He was a quality chef who was honest about his talents and his thoughts. He was one of us traveling the world enjoying food without political correctness or limitations. We saw the inner belly of societies that many in the U.S. never get to see, with an open mind and an open heart.  Non-judgemental in a way that brings people together.

Suicide is so raw and painful to those left behind. The way I will remember Anthony though is from the end of the episode of his first series “A Cooks Tour”, Childhood Flavors. He and his brother Chris went to Arcachon, France where his father grew up and where they spent many vacations. He said that maybe he and Chris were actually emotionally looking for their dad.

At the end of the episode after throwing firecrackers in old Nazi bunkhouses that sat on the beach, Anthony and Chris looked back thinking about how much their father would have loved it. He talked about the pure joy on his father’s face when they were on the beach at Cap Ferret as kids.  A family having fun, eating baguettes, cheese, and sausage, with a glass of cheap red wine in hand. A sense of true contentment.

With this sad act, I hope Anthony has found peace. I somehow see Anthony meeting with his father again at the beach. Anthony’s greatest food adventure ever, that we all know he took far too soon.

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“The Truth About San Francisco and Oakland Fan Violence; The Media Does it Again”

fan violence 9sd

Again?

I belong to fan pages of every NFL team so I can get a glimpse of what the vibes are around the league.  I’ve concentrated on Oakland but I want to stay abreast as to inside thoughts and what makes fans tick.  Most fan bases are the same; the league is against them, everyone is a hater, the media won’t respect them and it’s kind of fun to see actually. Saying that though, there is a huge injustice going on in the San Francisco bay area and it needs to be called out; AGAIN.

First off to all of the good San Francisco fans that supported my article last year; along with the facts; I appreciate it greatly. Obviously not all 49er fans are violent jerks.  I wrote it in response to the San Francisco bay area media trashing Oakland fans reputation for bad fan behavior.

Local reporters, fans and news people posted this article on some major news outlets and even 49er fan and team sites. Why? Because the main San Francisco media did what they do best; arrogantly not tell the truth about some San Francisco fans and how bad they are, while easily trashing Oakland fans with a sneer and a giggle.

https://jimjax4.wordpress.com/2014/12/05/the-truth-about-oakland-raiders-and-san-francisco-49er-fan-violence/

Raider fans continue to get bashed when the reality is the lazy and arrogant local media refuses to be honest.   San Francisco has a much higher arrest rate than Oakland Raider fans do and these are numbers from police departments.  But the truth isn’t sexy; ripping on Raider fans is.

Most of the people fighting are males under 35 years old. As I’ve said before, if you are a grown adult, and you fight at a game then you are a scumbag. You are a pathetic coward loser, and your kids and family members should be able to see the video of you acting like an idiot. You should go to jail and pay restitution and all should see what a violent coward you are.  Hope that was direct enough.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2782297/Police-2-men-arrested-assault-49ers-stadium.html

San Francisco fan violence is a historical thing. Just ask 49er great John Brodie. How many times did fans turn on Brodie when the 49ers didn’t do well.   Kezar Stadium at times was a place where fans threw insults, bottles, and other things at players and other fans, especially Brodie who many feel should be in the NFL Hall of Fame.

My dad used to tell me of a group of 49er fans that would drink so much that by the start of the game they were practically napping in the stands. When they would wake up, their team better be doing good or there would be hell to pay. The parking lot fights were of legend.

How many riots were seen when the Golden State Warriors won the title?  ……crickets…….  Two guys got into a fight and people tried to make a big deal out of it because it was in Oakland.  Beyond ridiculous.

Fast forward to the Giants and the World Series wins. The media mostly talked about the great win and the pride of being a Giants fan. All I heard was how perfect and awesome San Francisco fans were. But ask San Francisco natives about the pride when they saw bonfires in the streets, cars on fire and small fights and riots in local fast food restaurants; some even caught on tape but rarely reported by the media.  Look at Youtube.com if you don’t believe me.  Many are still there.

No one talked about it but another group of “brave” 49er fans in 2011 jumped a 66; YES A SIXTY SIX year old Steeler’s fan at Candlestick Park.   A group of them were beating and kicking him while he was on the ground sending him to the hospital. When security came up, the fans fought them.

Recently the ugly head of violence showed up again when 49er fans jumped a Minnesota Vikings fan in week 1. An extremely ugly situation where they wouldn’t stop even when security guards showed up, and 49er fans came to help.

http://www.tmz.com/2015/09/15/49ers-vikings-fans-fight-brawl-security-guard-hero/

Arrests were made.

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2015/09/18/49ers-fans-arrested-vikings-fan-beating/

I listened to several media outlets last week talk about another 49er fan fight in Downey, California; YES Downey which is a little south of Los Angeles. It was a brawl started by 49er fans against Steeler Fans at a local restaurant. Instead of the media tackling the issue, almost ALL of them commented on how this is how Raider fans usually act or this is reserved for Raider games. I’m sure their pinkies were in the air when they said it.

Think it’s just young men? Not a chance. Youtube used to have a video of 2 female Raider fans who were jumped by several San Francisco female fans in the parking lot. The video is no longer on Youtube for some reason but I’m still going to try and look for it. Stay classy ladies.

I do agree that when the Raiders were in Los Angeles, the violence was epic. It was a dangerous place to be.   I know people who tell me horror stories of the violence there. In Oakland it’s the opposite. Fans here can be vulgar and aggressive; but they are no where near as violent as San Francisco or other NFL fans.

Why Does It Go On?:

The NFL is the epitome of an evil business. They say they can’t afford to pay referees full time, so they are part time employees with bad calls still being the norm. Cheerleaders have to sue owners to get minimum wage. Players get no healthcare after 5 years past retirement when they are of no use to the league. The denial that concussions were a problem and screwing fans over with high prices ($150 to park at a Super Bowl?), just shows a history of extreme greed without a conscious. The definition of evil.

Hiring 100 pound 18 year old teens as security guards for $10/hr. isn’t the answer  fan violence. Actually use trained security guards that can take care of business because even when today’s security guards show up, fighting fans don’t respect them and often laugh them off.  The cheapskate NFL can afford it, but they and the owners won’t pay for it.

The image protection of the NFL and San Francisco is in full swing right now with the Super Bowl coming soon. They are already making plans to hide and ship some of the homeless out of the Super Bowl area. The NFL in all of it’s cheapness also set up a website to get young people to work during the Super Bowl break. What is their pay? You find out that it’s a t-shirt with a patch on it and some other minor trinkets but no money.

San Francisco Media:

I am not one of these whiners that complain all the time about “haters”. I’m also not one to tell fans what they want to hear to get them to follow and adore me like so many try to do. I always try to be honest and show the facts, whether you or I like them and the facts are, that the San Francisco media are liars in regards to fan violence.

They are not telling the truth or doing their home work. Do the research, look at the numbers and talk to the fans like I did.  For once let’s have news outlets that actually tell the truth and let readers do their own thinking, instead of just spreading false propaganda. I get it; many people only want to hear what they want to hear and you don’t want to upset them so that they will still read your stories. If you did the right thing though, you’d have something more important than popularity.  You’d have truth and many people’s respect.

“Need Help Twitterverse: Possible Kidnapping of Sarah Leary”

A Raider fan on a site made a passionate plea for help in finding her daughter.  It’s thought that she was possibly kidnapped by an abusive boyfriend and that she’s in danger.  She was in the process of leaving her.  Her Name is Sarah Leary.  She is a young caucasian female. The possible assailant’s name is Jack Wolcott.  I have her mom’s phone number and facebook page below if you’d like to give any information.

They are thought to possibly be in the Willits, California, or Arcata, California area.  She was on her way to San Leandro and disappeared.

I you are afraid, DM me or message me and I will get the information from you and give it myself.  Time is of the utmost importance.  Thanks again for all of your caring support!

Jim

“Below is a picture of Sarah Leary; she was last seen 2-3 weeks ago and has vanished.  Please read the Facebook post written by her mother Rose, for information.  Thank you!”

sarah leary

Rose Learys Facebook (mom)

https://www.facebook.com/rose.leary.946?fref=nf

Sarah Leary’s Facebook (missing daughter)

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100008072716058

My daughter is missing from home. After 10 days police saw her in Willets, CA. She is in trouble. Praise God I know where she is. Banana colored small older truck with small camper on top. Licence plate unknown, but I think Montana. Registration on license plate says it does not need renewal ever. Travelling potentially kidnapped by highly abusive boyfriend. Clear recent picture oh her on Feb Sarahs Good and both of them on Sarah Leary. Her name is Sarah Leary. His is Jack Wolcott. She is homeless (private family reason) and maybe frightened. They have no phone. My phone is (209)292-7703. I am terrified and must contact her! She usually texts me or comes home. Last seen by me early October this year. We are a Raider family. Single mom, only child much loved. Please, family… If you are near there, she may be Willets or Arcata,CA. Police will only tell me where she is because she is legal adult. Reality is she frequently contacts, is barely legal, immature, and travelling to San Leandro, CA. She disappeared on way. Mama needs at least a phone call. She was leaving him, hopped off bus when she saw me to hug and say I love you Mama. She disappeared into thin smoke. Todo mi familia (all family), I ask you please pray for us. Amen