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“Remembering Anthony Bourdain. The Epic Fail of the US Treating Depression, and How to Better Help Those Struggling With It”

Anthony bourdain

An epic fail.

With the death of celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain by suicide, another soul is lost to the wasteland of depression. It shows that what we are doing now is not working, and it has to change.

What bothers me so much is when a celebrity commits suicide people give an 800 number for suicide prevention and say get some help if you need it. What would be great is if the medical field and society got the person some help before their tragic end. It’s also strange that we accept so many on medications as a treatment, until a person commits suicide and then we say they should talk to someone.

I’m not naive; depression has been around forever and no culture will probably ever get rid of it.  In some cases though a patient may be helped with proper medical counseling.  If needed, medications can also be used. On the other hand what is going on in the U.S. is a HUGE fail when it comes to our suicide problem.  Handing patients powerful meds and saying good luck doesn’t work.

https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMrgQ_dOyhk

HMO’s and Drug Companies Team Up to Market Medications:

One service that health insurance organizations found was killing their revenues was counseling.   Over the years they found out that counseling was expensive, time consuming, and some patients needed it for years. It didn’t matter that it could work on many people; what mattered was that it was costly. What to do about the problem? Give a drug. It’s easy, takes up little to no time, and it’s profitable for both the insurance company and the drug company. And before laws changed, the perks and gifts that doctors got to push these drugs were of legend. I’m stopping here before I get into trouble.

Over the years drug companies went on a huge advertising campaign to get people to use their medications, and it’s unreal how intense it has become. The other day I watched network television for the first time in a while and I was shocked. I used the DVR and counted 14 commercials and EIGHT of them were drug commercials.

With the help of insurance companies and physicians, the drug companies created a society of drug addicts. Slowly, counseling became a thing of the past and giving medications became the rage. Insurance companies profits sky rocketed and drug companies made more money than they knew what to do with while patients suffered.   One medication can make billions of dollars per year. Now millions of patients are on powerful medications with little to no counseling. Some of these meds are so powerful it makes heroine seem like candy. Many people are getting addicted.

With opiates alone, some will have phantom pain when they try to get off of them creating more of an addiction. People pop these dangerous pills like tic tacs but they often still struggle because their problems are not fixed, just medicated. Instead of a professional helping them through their issues and how to handle situations better, they are drugged and unprepared. Patients at times are also part of the problem. We want fixes fast, easy, and with no fuss. Popping a pill to fix everything is just the ticket for our lackadaisical society.

Now thousands die from prescription drug overdoses without an end in site. Our society accepts it even though there were almost 45,000 suicides in 2016 in the U.S. And those are only the recorded ones.  Since 1999, the suicide rate in the U.S. has increased a whopping 24%. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/

AMAZINGLY 250,000 INFANTS are now on psychotropic medications in the U.S. That is CRIMINAL! Are you kidding me? Now infants are depressed? OMG. Please Americans; stop the insanity. What is scary is these are only the confirmed cases listed by the Center of Disease Control.

How to Help the Situation:

First off, we need to teach our society that needing therapy is NOT a weakness. Counseling can and does greatly help people.

Second, there is no 100% easy fix. Sadly, some are overcome by the pain in their lives or the hopelessness that they feel. Some do have mental illnesses that need medications but for various reasons, they don’t survive. Some get addicted to drugs and alcohol and refuse to be helped. It’s not cut and dry. People usually commit suicide not to die, but to stop hurting. That’s why therapy is so, so, important. Giving someone medications doesn’t make the hurt go away, it numbs it.

I feel citizens must demand that Congress create a code of ethics and a procedure for fighting depression. Counseling HAS to be a key element of this. Insurance companies are not going to do counseling again unless they are made to.  Obviously for some, medications are needed to cope with their mental illness but surely not a majority of depressed people need them long term.

They need to understand what is going on with themselves and how to cope with the pain they are feeling.  So many have abuses or childhood trauma’s that create immense pain.  Some will say, well I have a chemical imbalance. Alright, what chemical? Let’s balance it. These generic phrases to justify going on medications doesn’t cut it anymore.

I’ve dated and known some people that crumble at the sign of any stress or difficult situations and I’ve encouraged them to get help. One friend thank God reached out for help and has greatly improved. She went to a good therapist for months.   She said it changed her life.   She now takes no meds and has the coping skills and techniques to handle situations that were created by emotional abuse.   I also agree with many that not all therapists are good. Her first one told her to get on dating sites and date men to find companionship to make her happy. The opposite happened.

Now that she’s doing so well she loves the fact that she’s off all medications when before getting help, she said she was on 7 of them. Another friend after 9 months of counseling is getting off her meds and also feels like a million bucks. We must make counseling a paid service as a part of our health plans that is pushed by the doctors. Again, needing therapy is not a weakness and people should encourage others to get help.  Sometimes going through counseling, drug therapy helps as well.

Parents Can Help the Situation:

Good parenting also plays a role. Teach your kids to respect everyone because you don’t know who is struggling.  On the other hand talk to them and belong to every social media site they are on and check it regularly.  Many kids will not come forward so you have to take the initiative.

If you do not learn how to handle stress, disappointment, tragedy or difficult people when you are young, you sure in the heck aren’t going to magically handle it when you are an adult. It’s important not to handle every tiny thing for our kids.  They even have ridiculous seminars now on how to handle young adult workers so you will make them happy and you won’t upset them. It’s shocking how emotionally handicapped an entire generation has become due to people spoiling so many.

Let’s All Listen:

I hate when I hear some people say, I don’t really like to talk, I text. Well sorry, so do robots. Put down your phone and communicate with me.

I often look into a restaurant or even a bar and see people that are sitting together not talking with each other and looking at their stupid phones with their mouths open like zombies. When I go somewhere with someone, the first thing I say is “excuse me, I’m sorry. Let me turn off/silent my cell phone”. EVERY TIME the person or people with me will silence or turn off their phones. What I’m telling these people is that I’m going to listen to them. You will be amazed at how much better your interaction will be.

The only way to learn about something or someone is to listen. With social media and cell phones taking over, now many are self important and feel they are curing cancer when they open their mouths and say something.   Now everyone is an expert. Truly listening to someone is one of the kindest things you can do for them.

Stop The Negativity & the Hate:

Stop the stupid political hate and social media nastiness. Fun fact; one party is as screwed up as the other so blindly following either is pretty ridiculous in my book. If people would show as much loyalty to their loved ones and friends as they do to their stupid political party affiliation, the U.S. would be a lot nicer place to be. And a lot smarter. Racism, sexism and anger cloud the mind. They do not create peace, or contentment, thus do not associate with it. So much murder and chaos on television. Reality shows with scripted fighting and drama.   Social media nonsense. Political fighting like little kids. Rarely is there anything positive or happy anymore.

Jim’s Jamz:

We all get depressed and down sometimes. I remember I’ve been really low at times thinking there was no hope. Those are the times though I rely on the things that get me through the day until I can see light. I was taught how to deal with hardships from my parents and the lessons I learned as a child help me today. Even if you have those skills sometimes we still need some help.

For others, they may not have those tools, or are just really struggling.  They have to get that help in the form of talking with professionals and getting a plan on how to beat the struggles that are faced. Loving friends and family to discuss things help a ton as well.

Some people have chronic mental illness.  Some have emotional pain that has never been dealt with. Some have money or tax issues or relationship/family problems. Unless it’s a true mental illness though, you have to deal with the foundational problem and not just mask it with medications for the rest of their lives.  For some, medications have to be used but for many, they just need support.

As a society let’s not wait until someone is on the ledge of a mountain before we give them an 800 number to call to get help.   Let’s give these people support and someone to talk to in the valley before they climb up the cliff.

Remembering Anthony:

Anthony Bourdain was not a culinary genius or the greatest of chefs, but what made him popular was he was real. He was a quality chef who was honest about his talents and his thoughts. He was one of us traveling the world enjoying food without political correctness or limitations. We saw the inner belly of societies that many in the U.S. never get to see, with an open mind and an open heart.  Non-judgemental in a way that brings people together.

Suicide is so raw and painful to those left behind. The way I will remember Anthony though is from the end of the episode of his first series “A Cooks Tour”, Childhood Flavors. He and his brother Chris went to Arcachon, France where his father grew up and where they spent many vacations. He said that maybe he and Chris were actually emotionally looking for their dad.

At the end of the episode after throwing firecrackers in old Nazi bunkhouses that sat on the beach, Anthony and Chris looked back thinking about how much their father would have loved it. He talked about the pure joy on his father’s face when they were on the beach at Cap Ferret as kids.  A family having fun, eating baguettes, cheese, and sausage, with a glass of cheap red wine in hand. A sense of true contentment.

With this sad act, I hope Anthony has found peace. I somehow see Anthony meeting with his father again at the beach. Anthony’s greatest food adventure ever, that we all know he took far too soon.

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“Tom Hanks Immortalizes Phil Villapiano & the Oakland Raiders in a Way Only Hollywood Can”

hanx raiders

Only in Hollywood.

“Hanx” gets it. When so many athletes and celebrities get very full of themselves due to their fame, Tom Hanks knows his place in this world. He never looks down on people and treats people with respect and that is rare among the rich and famous. Tom Hanks is a true Oakland Raider fan, and a good guy.

(Below the late Michael Clarke Duncan thanks Tom Hanks for his humble support)

As I said in many writings, some Raider fans don’t fit in with the rest of the NFL fandom, and neither did Tom. In interviews he talked about growing up and how he was disliked by students and teachers alike, and that he was geeky and unpopular. Even though he was extremely shy, he was also the one that would blurt out something funny during a film or class activity. He said he was responsible, and didn’t get into much trouble though. He purposely would go to plays by himself always reading the program and then engulfing himself into the story and the moment. He worked hard at his craft.

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Tom Hanks Senior Photo; Skyline High School in Oakland

He went to Skyline High in Oakland during the early to mid 70’s when there was a lot of turmoil in society. He then went to Chabot College in Hayward before going to Sacramento State.   He loved the Raiders his entire life.

The NFL and Hollywood:

I did a lot of research on the NFL and Hollywood and it’s pretty amazing how many players have been in the movies and on the television screen. In the 1970’s Merlin Olsen was epic as Jonathon Garvey on the Little House on the Prairie Series with Michael Landon. He was so naturally talented as an actor they gave him his own short lived series in Father Murphy. A member of the fearsome foursome in family television.

Then you have the great Alex Karras who also was a gifted actor. He played the father on Webster and was in Blazing Saddles and Victor Victoria. A little known fact is that he was the one of the final cuts to play Carlo Rizzi in the Godfather.

(below is Ben Davidson as Rexor v.s. Arnold Schwarzenegger in Conan the Barbarian.  Ben and Rexor have become cult icons with a huge following)

The Iconic Jim Brown was in the Dirty Dozen and many other films, and Vikings running back Ed Marinaro was amazing in one of the greatest shows of all time, Hill Street Blues. There are a lot more that in the future I will write about. No team in history though has more people in the big or small screen than the Raiders.

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Ken Stabler & Phil Villapiano

Raiders Invade Hollywood:

Fred Williamson is the Raiders and NFL icon all-time when it comes to Hollywood. The “Hammer” and ex-Raider has been in over 115 movies and tv shows and is still working at 80 years old. Carl Weathers, the former Raiders linebacker became famous playing Apollo Creed in the Rocky classics. Ben Davidson was in the M.A.S.H. movie as well as Conan The Barbarian.   He also made waves when he did a porn movie (he was fully clothed and did no sex) which got him hate mail from across the country. Many other Raiders have been in films and television and they were hugely popular on talk shows and commercials. Even with the Raiders glory years decades past, Tom Hanks put the icing on the cake in honoring his team in the 1996 film, “That Thing You Do”.

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Villapiano’s:

In the late 80’s and early 90’s Tom Hanks was at a crossroads. After his meteoric rise, he had 4 straight flops and was looking to get back on top. In 1992, he asked talented director Penny Marshall for a chance to play Jimmy Dugan in the movie “A League of Their Own”. Dugan was a washed up ex-baseball star whose career was cut short by his drinking. Marshall; who is as soft and sweet as a cactus at times; gave him the part and made him earn his way through the movie. Tom Hanks hit a home run in this classic, and from there went on to do some of his timeless films.

In 1996, Tom took to writing and directing his first film in “That Thing You Do”. A sweet movie about a musical group going from garage band to stars. He needed to choose a place for the musical numbers that had history and that could show how the 1960’s music scene really was during those times.

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Palomino’s back in it’s heyday

Hanx chose the famous Palomino Club in North Hollywood. In keeping with the history of the club, he honored ex Oakland Raiders LB Phil Villapiano by naming it after him. Villapiano’s became a key place in the film. Here is the famous fight scene from the movie at Villapiano’s.

Here is Tom Hanks mentioning Villapiano’s on the Red Carpet with his lovely wife Rita Wilson.

Why is This So Important and Where is Villapiano’s?:

What’s funny is that online movie fans have argued, what venue was used as Villapiano’s and where is it? I’ve searched various sites and did some digging and the site for Villapiano’s eventually was found out to be the iconic Palomino’s, and he couldn’t have picked a better place to name Villapiano’s.   This place was once called The Grand Ol’ Opry West. Just like the Whiskey a Go Go and many other LA hotspots back in the day, this launched many a musical career and was the place to be.

They actually sell the t-shirt at cafe press.  Here is the link:  https://www.cafepress.com/mf/32417705/villapiano_tshirt?productId=209598228

villapiano_tshirt

Le Monge
The Palomino closed 20 years ago and is now a banquet hall called Le Monge

The history of this place is historic. In true Raider form, the Palomino was originally called the MuleKick.   Before the Palomino opened in 1949, the MuleKick was a blue collar neighborhood bar that was frequented often by the ex-country and western film actors and stuntmen of the 1930’s and 1940’s that mostly lived there. The clientele was friendly but gruff, hard working and hard drinking. Country Music Star Hank Penny bought the place and changed the name to the Palomino.

Many famous stars like Patsy Cline, Johnny Cash, and Willie Nelson performed to packed crowds. Below is a rare shot of Willie Nelson performing at the Palomino in 1970.

willie nelson 1970 palomino
A young Willie Nelson plays at the Palomino in 1970

Merle Haggard, Bob Dylan and even Elvis Pressley would play unannounced sets to the crowds whenever they would drop in. In the 70’s and 80’s it became a haven for the Hair Band and rock band era with many of the hottest bands in the country playing there. Bands like Quiet Riot and the Red Hot Chili Peppers would hone their craft and create a groundswell of support, launching their careers.

(Below is a great performance from the Palomino Club by Jerry Lee Lewis with a very candid interview of the “Killer” afterward.)

Tom Hanks knew the history of the Palomino, and it was a match made in heaven to choose this venue to call Villapiano’s. Hanx grew up in the east bay during the Santa Rosa Oakland Raiders training camp days and no team was as hard drinking and hard living as the Oakland Raiders and their ring leader Phil Villapiano. Ben Davidson, Phil and Ken Stabler would have fit in this bar like a fish to water.

phil fans

Jim’s Jamz:

For anyone that grew up in the 1970’s, they remember how the Raiders were everywhere. Their winning was done in such a charismatic way that it attracted fans, the NFL, and Hollywood. For Tom to use Phil’s name in the movie just shows how much he loves the team of his youth.

So grab a glass of your favorite adult beverage, put on your favorite Raider jersey and check out “That Thing You Do” if you haven’t already. And most of all give a toast to Tom Hanks and Phil Villapiano and all of the Raiders of the past. And enjoy the fact that Tom Hanks immortalized the Raiders and Phil Villapiano, in a way only Hollywood can.

 

“Remembering Oakland Raiders Al Davis (& the AFL) on MLK Day & His 5 Decade Fight For Equality”

Al_Davis_Raiders_t2903606

Al Davis, civil rights pioneer.

Al Davis has been called many things. Innovator, rebel, leader, dictator; and many other things that are not for print. One thing many will remember him for though is as a civil rights leader.  Al Davis had one goal in sports; winning. And because of that spirit, he didn’t care what color or sex you were.  Just win baby.

Davis Stand against Racism in the 1960’s; The AFL makes history in a boycott:

The 1960’s was a heck of a time. It had a lot of turmoil due to military conflicts and racial injustice.   From the college game to the NFL game, there were still many fans, coaches and administrators that didn’t like having blacks on their teams. We applaud the storied Alabama football program for it’s winning today but we forget it didn’t integrate black players until 1971 when John Mitchell and Wilbur Jackson first played for the Crimson Tide. Even though the civil rights bill threatening to take away federal funding to schools that discriminated against African Americans was enacted in 1964, it took years for some schools to comply. In fact, even though they have tried to hide it,   look at the Mormon Church and BYU’s history in the 1970’s in regards to race. Quite a read.

The same was seen at a smaller level in pro football. Even though there were many African American players, they were not welcomed by everyone with open arms. Al Davis really helped in opening doors for many people.

The AFL and Al Davis especially were different.  In a 1963 exhibition game in Mobile, Alabama, Al Davis demanded the contest be moved to Oakland because he was not going to separate his players in segregated hotels. He also tried to do this in many other games through the 1960’s.  When Raiders outspoken star Clem Daniels complained about the way black players were treated at the 1965 AFL All-Star game in New Orleans, Al Davis supported them when they voted to boycott the game unless it was moved.  Other owners and commissioner Joe Foss joined the outcry.  Even many white players including Ron Mix stated that they would no longer play in the game if it stayed in New Orleans.  The organizer of the All-Star game went so far as to tell the minority players that they and their families were welcome in New Orleans but that was far from the case.  African American players were left stranded at the airport with some not being able to get taxi’s while others were not allowed to go into restaurants and bars in the french quarter due to the color of their skin.  Eventually the game was moved to Houston and even though it was a spur of the moment thing, Houston did a good job of hosting.  AFL Commissioner Joe Foss wrote a letter to the people of Houston thanking them for the classy way they supported the AFL’s players.  The actual letter is below.  Pretty cool letterhead.

afl-letter

African American Colleges Play a Big Role in Player Drafts:

When he took over for the Raiders, Davis was one of the first to specifically target black/small colleges. Some of the greatest Raiders were from small or black colleges including Hall of Famer’s Gene Upshaw ( Texas A & I) and Art Shell (Maryland St.).   Both Hall of Fame players were thought of as somewhat risky picks because they were from schools that were too small or too abstract.

shell upshaw
Two of the Greatest to play the game.  HOF players Art Shell, and Gene Upshaw.

When Raiders all world WR Warren Wells was in Texas state prison serving time, the Raiders had an important team celebration. Mr. Davis contacted the state of Texas stating that he would pay for security for Warren to attend, but the state denied the request. It didn’t matter that Warren was an African American to Al Davis. What was important was that he was a Raider.

wells jets
The greatest catch that few remember.  Wells Makes Miraculous grab with 8 seconds to beat the Jets in 1970.

The Good Old Boys Network Get’s a Shakeup:

When Davis hired Art Shell to be the first African American head coach, it had broken down decades of prejudice.  It was groundbreaking and even today name all of the GM’s in the NFL that are African American or Hispanic?   There aren’t very many, but of course the Raiders have one of them in Reggie McKenzie. Al Davis also hired the first Hispanic head coach in Tom Flores, and the first female executive in Amy Trask. If he thought you could do the job, he didn’t care if you were a blue smurf, he would hire you.

art shell al davis 1989
Art Shell and Al Davis 1989

In an episode of HBO’s amazing series “Real Sports”, they talked about the lack of support and care for retired NFL players. One owner had an idea of building a hospital in Utah or another inexpensive state for the retired players that would be funded by the NFL retirement plan through the profits of the league. Who was the owner that created the plan and was the only one that voted yes for it? Al Davis.

al davis white jumpsuit
No One but Elvis could rock a white jumpsuit like Al Davis

Jim’s Jamz:

There have been many white owners, coaches and players in pro footballs history who have done their part in helping to cross the barriers of prejudice and hate.   None of them though did it with the confidence, fire and flare that Al Davis did.  On the field Mr. Davis didn’t want to lose and he didn’t want to tie. He wanted one thing and that was to win. And if you could help the Raiders get to that goal, he wanted you and you were a Raider brother for life no matter what your religion or race was. Especially in today’s America, wouldn’t it be nice if that was the way things were?

Sadly we still have a long way to go in eliminating hate and prejudice, but it’s people like Martin Luther King Jr.; and to an extent Al Davis; that gets us closer to that goal.   I know today is MLK day but on this day I always think of Mr. Davis. From Terry Bradshaw to Derrick Thomas to the countless number of players from other teams that he supported during bad times, Mr. Davis really cared about them.  The football world is not as fun without Mr. Davis but few see his other side because like most men his age, they didn’t want the attention it gave. The thing that everyone in football knows about Al Davis is that even though he loved the Raiders tough, renegade image, he had an awful soft heart under that ugly white jumpsuit.

“Raiders Matt Millen relives The Day That Eagles Fans Threw Snowballs @ Santa; Is Santa Safe When The Raiders Visit Philadelphia on Christmas”

SantaEagle
Santa’s in Trouble

You Have to be a Philly fan to get it.

On December 15th, 1968; the craziest Christmas story ever told occurred. And to think, this story almost was never known. In fact until Howard Cosell released the news and showed some footage on his weekly show, hardly anyone outside of Philadelphia even knew it happened.   After Cosell reported it, it had a mind of it’s own and it became a part of football lore.

A Miserable Day:

It was a miserable cold December day in Philadelphia, and the fans were not in a good mood. To be honest fans in Philadelphia are rarely in a good mood but they had reason this time.   Their fans are unlike any other fan base in sports. They might be the smartest in the U.S., but they also will go off in a heartbeat if they feel things aren’t going well. Fans that day had arrived to over a ½ foot to a foot of snow on their seats in old Franklin Field. In true Philly fashion, 54,000 die hard Eagles fans came to see one of the worst teams in the NFL on a terrible winter day.

A few weeks earlier there was joy with many fans thinking the Eagles would have the worst record in the NFL. This would mean they could draft a cant miss super star in USC tailback OJ Simpson.   Sadly, they won 2 meaningless games so they now had the #3 pick in the draft. Buffalo chose Simpson #1 and the Eagles chose Leroy Keyes, a RB out of Purdue.   He showed so little promise at RB that they moved him to Safety after 1 year. Keyes was out of the league in 4 years and OJ became one of the greatest RB’s in history. Their fans knew.

frank olivo with his loving family
Frank Olivo (In Santa’s hat) with his loving family

Philadelphia fans are as passionate as any fan base in history.   They treat their teams like family members. Tough, rough and hardcore, if their teams do well they will be favorite sons. If they fail, they will rip them to shreds like newspaper. Not every athlete can play in Philadelphia.   Thin skinned, sensitive athletes need not apply.

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Schleprock from the Pebbles & Bamm Bamm Cartoon

Philly fans are the “schleprocks” of the sports world. They feel there is a black cloud over them at all times, just waiting to drop down a curse that will eventually ruin even the best of seasons.   I remember a tweet by a Philly fan a week ago. He said, “I’m so freaking scared; things are going too good. I know something is going to happen”. The next game star QB Carson Wentz tore up his knee and is now out for the season.

***************

On this cold day in 1968, there was nothing to play for. The Eagles lost to the Vikings but that was not the story. Already in a bad mood, the Eagles fans wanted nothing to do with cheer or with crappy halftime entertainment.   The temperature had now dropped to the low 20’s with wind gusts to 20-30 mph. At half time the Eagles had promised a small parade. The Philly cheerleaders would be in cute elves costumes followed by a large band. They also had a Santa float. The Santa float started to go across the field but fans booed because it got stuck due to the bad conditions. The worst part is that the Santa that they had hired, didn’t even show up and wasn’t in the float as expected. There are still stories that he may have possibly had too many adult beverages after seeing how cold it was outside, but that isn’t confirmed.

Eagles Entertainment Director Bill Mullen had an idea. He saw a 20 y/o fan by the name of Frank Olivo in the stands who was dressed as Santa Claus. At 5’ 7” and about 170 lbs., he was a poor imitation at best. Nicknamed “beefy”, Frank was a small, portly Italian man who had lots of personality and he loved to ham it up. Never shying away from attention, Frank agreed.

Olivo found out quick that Eagles fans were in no mood for second class entertainment. Seeing a wannabe Santa was too much for them to take and they started to boo. After someone in the upper deck chucked a snowball at Frank, it created a domino effect. First a few and then dozens of snowballs from all over the stadium started to rain down.

Matt Millen Remembers:

At 11 years old, a young Matt Millen knew what being an Eagles fan was all about. The future Penn State and Raiders star was all Pennsylvanian.  He knew that he was a part of a generation of Philadelphia fans and there was a passionate responsibility to it. As your fathers and grandfathers go, so go the children.

 “I was 10 or 11 at the time and it was a miserable day and they were a miserable team”, said Millen to reporters. “To be honest the snowball throws were the only fun thing about the game.   Dads, kids, grandfathers, and even old ladies started throwing them. I mean he had it coming. When the band played Here comes Santa Claus, that was it. It was no big deal. It was just what we did”.

Matt Millen said it was a much different era obviously. “Fans of today don’t realize how serious Philly fans take their football. Franklin Field was a crazy place to play. More than a few times people would leave the stands and go onto the field to physically confront players and coaches alike if things weren’t going well”.

The Aftermath:

Frank Olivo from the start was a good sport about it. “I’m one of them”, he said often. “I understand them so I didn’t take it personally. They didn’t like anyone at that moment. I do admit though when the Eagles asked if I would do it again next year I said no”.

Frank did admit he never booed a player ever again. “When they boo, you feel like they’re all against you individually,” he said. “And that’s why, when I heard it, I said to myself, ‘My God, what do these players think or feel when they’re getting booed?’ It’s like you’re being told you’re not good enough to be here.”

Frank and his family members were eventually priced out of Eagles games not being able to afford the PSL’s with the new stadium.   Much like in other areas, the most diehard of fans were eaten up by the greed machine that is the NFL.

Years later though, Frank was asked to be Santa at a 76ers game reliving that day and he accepted. At first they cheered him on, and then in true Philly fashion, they realized that for old times sake they had to boo Olivo. He loved it. Frank passed away in 2015 but he treasured his memories of his beloved Eagles until the day he died.

Bracelet Snow:

The latest situation where Philly fans took some heat was last year during the Stanley Cup Playoffs. The Flyers were down 2-0 to the Washington Capitals and before game 3, they were honoring owner Ed Snider who had recently passed away. Every seat had a white bracelet on it that lighted up.   The light show before the game in honor of Snider was a sight to see and everyone was in great spirits before the first puck dropped.  That feeling eroded though.

As the Capitals pulled away late, fans began to pelt the ice with the bracelets. The game was halted for a time. Not even the Flyers ice girls; who pretty much wear strip club school girl outfits; could stop the madness. The white bracelets were literally impossible to clean up because they matched the color of the ice.  This incident also included a few obscenities yelled out by some fans during the moment of silence.

What Will Happen on Christmas v.s. The Raiders?

Things are going pretty good where the Eagles fly, but you never know.   What if the Raiders somehow beat them?   What if Nick Foles implodes.   What if somehow something bad happens?   If these things occur, I think that whoever is playing Santa better have a thick suit and a thick skin. And if he is anywhere near the good sport and the great Eagle fan that Frank Olivo was, if snowballs come his way then so be it.   He would understand. You have to be a Philly fan to get it.

 

 

“Real and Raw; The Heartbreak of Betrayal; How to Handle It and Grow From it”

 

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I thought it would be unique if I wrote an article when the writer was experiencing the very thing they are writing about. How to get over the pain of betrayal which I am going through now. Be it friendship, business or relationships, in the end the cream rises to the top, and the dirt falls to the ground.

those who dont know the value of loyalty

I remember watching the movie Braveheart. What hit me was the scene during the fight at Falkirk when William Wallace was betrayed by Robert the Bruce.  Instead of slicing Bruce’s throat, Wallace just sat back in disbelief.

If you look on Wallace’s face when he realizes he’s been betrayed, you see sheer pain. You can almost see his spirit being taken as if someone had literally turned out a light inside his heart. In the moment when he was most open and trusting, his heart was ripped out.   Tears welled up in his eyes and at that moment he gave up. When Bruce looked into Wallace’s eyes, he finally got him on a horse and helped to save him by letting him ride away. The immense pain he saw on Wallace’s face tortured Bruce.

Robert the Bruce: Lands, titles, men, power, nothing.
Robert’s Father: Nothing?
Robert the Bruce: I have nothing.  Those men who bled the ground red at Falkirk, they fought for William Wallace, and he fights for something that I never had. And I took it from him, when I betrayed him. I saw it in his face on the battlefield and it’s tearing me apart!
Robert’s Father: All men betray. All lose heart.
Robert the Bruce: I DON’T WANT TO LOSE HEART! I want to believe as he does.

In Braveheart, Wallace believed in his cause and in the relationships he had created.  Loyalty, honor and courage was his foundation.  Bruce betrayed that loyalty.  Bruce sold out Wallace for his own gain even though he knew it would destroy him. Bruce saw his ugliness eventually and he saw the pain he had caused.  Eventually he backed Wallace’s cause instead of hindering it. He wanted to restore what little self respect he still had and he had a conscious after all. He realized in the end, he wanted to have that spirit of truth and loyalty that Wallace had over the wealth and power his betrayal promised.

i'm not crying because of you

Toxic People:

Here is a great article on toxic people.   Things that are seen in such a person is that they are manipulative, demanding and dramatic.  Many can also be selfish, moody, and demand you pick them over others. They are a cancer and are sick and need to be avoided.   Many times when people are betrayed, they look back and see these things in the people they trusted. I’ve seen these things from manipulative teens to dysfunctional adults. It’s scary to watch their narcissism without a conscious to anyone but themselves.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-flux/201608/8-things-the-most-toxic-people-in-your-life-have-in-common

The Excuses of Betrayal:

I’ve never heard a person in my life say, “I don’t want to take your help because I’m really confused right now. I don’t know who I am and I really need to find myself. I’m still learning who I am and want to focus on that so I can’t take your help at this time. During this process I really don’t want to burden you or take up your time. When I have my head on straight I’ll call you and during this process I’ll keep you posted on how I am doing”. Selfish people don’t do this.  In reality they don’t care if they are a burden to you or if they drain others.  They just want things to get better for themselves and it doesn’t matter who they have to hurt to make it happen.  They will lie, make promises and do whatever it takes to get what they want.  These are the things you hear AFTER you help them and you are no longer an important part of their lives.

After you support them, then all of a sudden you are a stray dog. They played with you for a while because you would give them loyalty, comfort, support and all of the things they craved. Then when other people came around and they were back on their feet, they would throw the ball down a steep hill. The dog would take forever to run and get it and by the time the dog got back, the person would be gone.

These betrayers have huge issues, but they will nitpick you to death telling you how bad you act and how bad it makes them feel being oblivious to the pain they’ve created.  Funny how those things are only an issue when they don’t need you because it sure didn’t bother them when they did.  They will all of a sudden trash you behind your back and allow others to do the same.  After a while you realize their manipulative madness and say this just isn’t worth it.  Ok; you got me.  You used me but I just want you to go away.  Which they gladly will.

In reality their actions say, “you are not important to me now and I need to move on. Thanks a lot but I don’t need you anymore and you are not good enough to be in my life.  I will try and save face though so I don’t look bad”. Toxic people that betray always have a few things in their arsenal; or what we normal people call, excuses; to use, to make them feel better while they are telling you that they used you & you need to leave them alone.

a persons true colors

The Feelings of Betrayal:

Most betrayers are master manipulators. They will turn you upside down acting confused and lost when they sure weren’t that way when they needed you. Some are so good they will even blame their own betrayal on you.   Somehow they are always the victim.   I remember asking my Uncle Phil once saying how can people knowingly hurt others? How can they say they will come through and they don’t? How can these people sleep at night? He smiled and said, “they sleep pretty well”.  You can sleep when you don’t have a conscious.

I don’t think that possibly losing that person is the thing that causes us pain, it’s that this person no longer thinks you are good enough for them.  It’s also the time and effort you put into them and how stupid you may feel for being so good to them. When they were in the mud pit and looked hopeless, you listened to their cries and jumped into the mud with them to help. If they were going down so were you. They sucked the life out of you but you were loyal.  The pain of being taken advantage is hard to take. The rejection is through the roof and it hurts.

people treat you like they dont care

We have to realize society has become much more selfish and some have no issues hurting others. They lack the conscious or the moral character to take care of business.   They will say all the right words, and do as much as they need to get what they want. Sometimes it’s for money or business favors or companionship when they are alone. For some in relationships it can be money and some even want eye candy to show off to others.

During their darkest and most fearful hours, you are there without judgement. When their situation looks ugly and they seem to be a mess that can’t be helped, you help them without care of being hurt. When they don’t need you anymore or the roles are reversed, there are always excuses and very little loyalty.   Something always trumps their loyalty to you, or their ability to be there for you.  That’s when you erase them from your life.

with-careful-people-quote-Favim.com-579521

Why Do We Get Hurt:

Some get hurt because they are foolish and they trust everyone. For the most part though, many get hurt because they have compassion and care deeply for others and some people see it and take advantage of that. You feel for people and you don’t want them to hurt.

We’ve all been screwed over in our lives but usually the softhearted people get it much more often. People who are train wrecks love latching on to these people like a tick that won’t jump off a hiker. Softhearted and/or insecure people can be spotted a mile away. People know they will help and some go after them like a lion chasing a straggling antelope in a herd. These people will use the compassion of others to improve their own situation.

It’s noble to try to see good in people and to wish the best for them, but at time’s it’s also naïve. Usually the people that hurt us the most are the ones we care deeply for.

Learn From Your Mistakes:

Realize your heart was in the right place, but you shouldn’t have helped this person.  They are like a dementor in Harry Potter.  This is a soul taker; they literally drain your spirit and take every part of you when they need you.  When you are no longer needed, suddenly all of these flaws and issues about you come out.  Funny how they weren’t an issue when they needed you.  See the pattern?  Actions speak louder than words and you need to look at people’s actions over your compassion for them. Yes you screwed up by helping them; learn from it; but it still doesn’t give them the right to hurt you.

toxic dadfd

What’s really sad is as time goes on, good hearted and kind people get worn out by being burned so often and eventually they lose faith in people. They become jaded and untrusting and that is the society we live in today. A pastor friend the other day said, “it’s almost like ½ the people are jaded and have been burned a lot and the rest of the people are taking advantage of them and don’t have a conscious about it”. The key is to always keep growing, surround yourself with good people and be wary of who you help and who you let into your life.  Don’t be an open book.  Just because someone acts sweet or kind doesn’t mean they are good.

Jim’s Jamz:

Take responsibility.  It’s rough out their gang but you can do it.   Smile, move on and be rid of emotional drainers.  Let out the pain and discouragement and then take a deep breath and live again.  There are a lot of wolves in sheep’s clothing though. Sometimes the darkest people on the inside seem like the kindest, most attractive and sweetest people on the outside. Be strong, keep your eyes open, and trust in peoples actions over their words. When you give you should never want anything back but you also don’t want to be a lackey. Many times the person with the brightest smile has the most selfish intentions.   You are their life raft and once they are off the island, they will set you adrift not caring where you land or even if you land at all.   Not everyone deserves our help or our hearts and friendship.  Only give your loyalty to those that will respect it, appreciate it, and keep it for life and refuse to accept being a victim to anyone.

“Update; My Online Horror Stories & Why I’m No Longer an Open Book; Online Privacy Overview”

hand-cover-mouth

“I’m an open book”, said the naive person.

I’M AN OPEN BOOK!  Some even brag about it like it’s a badge of honor.  I learned the hard way how naive a statement that is.

I remember one time I was out with friends and one of them said how they admired that I was the type of person that was the first to try new things or to do something new instead of just following what others think or did.  Another friend laughed, “yea, Jim is the dumb one that does it first and finds out all the mistakes so the rest of us don’t have to go through it”.  They both were probably right.

I have always wanted to think that everyone has good in them.  In reality our culture has changed though and not for the better.  Class, morals and character are harder to find and the evil that we see in the news is pretty scary.  People hurt others without a conscious.  And at times sites don’t do enough to protect us.

(one billion people lose their identity in Yahoo security breach)

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/capital-business/wp/2016/10/17/one-billion-reasons-why-the-yahoo-cyber-breach-matters/

How Social Media & The Internet Has Changed Our Communication:

The internet and social media is fun and has a lot of great rewards, but it also has serious issues.  It has made many people dysfunctional communicators.  Some people in business and in personal relationships are like Hemmingway in emails, texts and chats.  Get them in person and their communication skills are as good as one of the Teletubbies.  If I see one more person staring at their phone with their mouth slightly open like a zombie I think I’ll lose it.  Look at people on dates; many don’t even talk to their partner.  They are texting others, looking at videos or even flirting while checking their dating site profile or tinder page.  Go to a movie theater and try to find people that aren’t texting someone.  We have the attention spans of puppies on espresso and as a culture, we seem to use guesses, mind reading skills or jedi mind tricks to communicate with each other instead of just talking directly. Put the phones down!

dating identity

My Crazy Experiences While Being An Open Book While Online Dating:

Psychologists say it takes a good year to get to know someone, but we think we know someone in minutes.  I remember being an open book on Facebook for 5 years while in the dating scene when I became single.  After a while people would show up uninvited to my house and work.  I had one girl that I chatted with a couple of times do a search on me and found my business.  We had coffee once and I knew she was not the person for me plus she looked too young.  One day I came into my office to see patients in the afternoon and my secretary said, “you’re girlfriend is here”.  Well that was strange because at the time I didn’t have one.  I walked in and of course it was this young girl.  I asked her what was going on.  I talked to her long enough to make sure she didn’t have an ax or Lizzie Borden tattoo, but I still wasn’t comfortable.  I eventually got rid of her.

The worst situation I had was a girl I met online and we started to talk.  She lived near me and asked to meet.  We met a couple of times and would text and talk on the phone but she told me she slept around some and that there was no such thing as cheating.  I told her we we’re not a match & that we should be friends or just go our separate ways.  I didn’t’ know at my age saying you wanted to just be friends was still bad.

She went crazy.  She started freaking out telling me who did I think I was and that she could get guys 100 times better than me.  She then said I was messing with her and that no one messed with her and got away with it.

At about 12:30 am I began to get texts.  It was from girls asking to meet and have sex.  These girls began to talk about things that we can do that I’m not quite sure are physically possible.  I texted back saying they had the wrong guy and told them to stop texting me.  I found out that this angry woman had put an ad with all of my information on a sex ad on Craigslist.  Craigslist emailed me & said to call the police.  I warned her and she took the ad down.  Instead of taking my time and being careful, I met her quickly and was an open book with all of my personal information on Facebook and LinkedIn and I let my walls down.  I have many more stories like this.

chloroform

The Scary Stories Of Anger & Wierdness:

One night when I was coming home from work, a man was sitting on my porch.  It ended up being a patient; a pretty scary guy.  He found my information from LinkedIn and Facebook and did a search on me and found my home address.  It was 11:30 pm and he asked if we could talk and if he could come in.  I actually saw my neighbor looking at him and I talked him into leaving.  I slept with a loaded gun next to my bed just in case.

I wrote articles online at times for political sites and I was Mr. Open Book then too.  Unfortunately I said something some people didn’t like and I started getting death threats.  Someone emailed me a photo of my front yard saying he was watching me.  I called the police but I was stressed out and for a while I didn’t let anyone come over.

(Yahoo scans emails to give to the government)

http://www.businessinsider.com/r-exclusive-yahoo-secretly-scanned-customer-emails-for-us-intelligence-sources-2016-10

stalker-stats 

Your Photos are Public Domain & Can Haunt You:

You want to talk about open books, just go on Twitter or Instagram.  People put up or share naked or sexual photos literally potentially ruining their reputation.  I’ve seen 12-13 year olds trying to put up post sex selfies on Twitter.  (How irresponsible parents are if they are not hovering over their teens computer use).  I’ve blocked so many people I can’t count them.

It just blows me away how people can send near strangers naked photos of themselves and even videos.  I’d talk to someone and the next thing I know I’m getting photos and occasionally naked photos or the famous naked strip tease on video.  Friends wouldn’t believe me until I showed them.

First off it’s both dumb and risky at the same time and it lacks class.  I know many are insecure these days needing lots of attention but come on. I had one pretty friend who loved attention. Well her cute and sexy Facebook & Instagram pics were used by scammers to set up fake accounts on dating sites trying to get money from men.  When she spoke to the sites, they told her they would not take the photos down.  Also; especially men; are you that dumb that you think those sexy pics this girl is ONLY sending you (wink wink) is a special way for her to say she wants you?  WHO IS TAKING THE PHOTOS?  Their grandma’s?  No; the guys they are sleeping with that’s who!

adadfasfasdf

Take Back Your Privacy:

I realized then that between big business pimping out our web surfing habits, locations, purchasing habits, and all of our social media information, I was not going to be used or exposed.  Google just recently said they would stop reading peoples emails.  And former Yahoo CEO Marisa Mayer; one of the most evil of all CEO’s; admitted for years she gave our communications to the Fed’s all while losing over 1 billion peoples information to hackers! Now Samsung admits to recording us through some of their smart tv’s, and appliances are the next to hook us up online.  Well’s Fargo STEALS OUR IDENTITIES but it’s biz as usual.  As long as we can watch Big Brother or the Bachelor I guess it’s all good.

For those of us who want to protect our identity, unfortunately there is only so much we can do to protect our information.  There is no law though that states you have to put the correct birthday or exact spelling of your name on any social media websites unless you are buying something.

After all of the security breaches & drama I went though, I said “enough”. I started over.  I protected myself and also stopped posting up family photos and giving personal information.  I closed all of my social media sites and started over.  I told my 3000 Facebook followers that I was moving on and that it had gotten too weird for me.  Magically all of the drama ended shortly after.

job facebook

A New Lease on MY Online Life:

I started to write again and it felt good to not be weighed down by internet drama.  I’ve now restarted and I’ve been much less open online.  Even though I have over 47k followers on my two Twitter accounts, I’m more careful. I’ve slowly created safe, fun and healthy online relationships with some turning into friendships.  I’ve used Google voice for a contact phone number and I feel much safer.

Social media and technology has created a high level of trust in the latest generation and I worry about them because they are very naïve.  Corporations have slowly eroded their sense of privacy and their respect for it.  It’s even a risk with our money.  When I met with my banker once he spoke under his breath and told me not to use the banking app because financial apps in his opinion were not safe.

It used to drive one of my ex girlfriends insane when every where we went; or even if I was online; people would tell me their life stories.  I’ve talked to people at times who will tell me their innermost secrets and I barely know them.  I guess I’m an O.K. guy but maybe people are just lonely and with all of the dysfunctional communications of today, they just need a human being to actually talk to in person.  This is what we used to do when people had problems.  Be it family or friends or a psychiatrist; talk to someone on how to handle situations and how to cope with the stresses of life and get the pain out.  We need to put down the phones sometimes and talk to each other and really listen and get to know each other.  Social media has made us talk too much, and listen far too little.

privacy-issues-in-social-networking-11-638

The Moral of The Story:

For our jobs some of us are forced to be as open as possible but on our personal accounts it’s our choice.  The world isn’t as safe a place anymore and people need to be much more careful.  You shouldn’t be a fearful hermit, but you also shouldn’t be Shirley Temple.  It takes one identity theft, one bad thing said online, or one sleazy picture to ruin a reputation and cause years of headaches.  Sorry Steve Zuckerberg, Apple, Google & Yahoo; I’m not trusting you any more.  Learn from my mistakes friends; I always make them before everyone else does.

 

“The Tragic Loss of Raider Derrick Jensen & the Mounting List of Players ALS & CTE are Claiming”

Derrick_Jensen2

The nightmare continues.

When ESPN’s article on the money grab which is the brain injury lawsuit against the NFL came out recently, it showed just how little is being done for former NFL players struggling with head injuries. So far they have not seen one dime of the settlement money. With lawyers charging outrageous fees, and medical corporations and doctors practically targeting them, you wonder how much money the players will really see. The extreme greed is hard to watch.  The sad part is, more players are being diagnosed with ALS and CTE and many feel this is just the tip of the iceberg.

http://www.espn.com/espn/otl/story/_/id/19029607/billion-dollar-nfl-concussion-settlement-turns-nasty-lawyers-others-vie-pieces-payouts-players

Studies now show NFL players are 4-5 times more likely to get ALS than the regular public. The famous Italian soccer study showed Italian soccer players were 6 times more likely to get it. Severe forms of CTE are now feared to be a cause of ALS.  Former woman’s US soccer star Brandi Chastain has agreed to donate her brain to CTE studies. The first MMA fighter has now been thought to have CTE. Even BMX legend Dave Mirra was shown to have CTE after his suicide at the age of 41.

Now present and former NHL players are coming out to talk about it.   If you thought the NFL was obtuse about head injuries, the NHL makes them look like Mother Theresa. They sued to block their emails dating back to as much as 10 years ago trying to block studies on the effects of concussions partly because they didn’t want to limit fighting.

http://www.tsn.ca/nhl-doctor-slams-situational-ethics-on-concussions-in-unsealed-lawsuit-documents-1.708729

Last month the NFL world was shocked and dismayed to hear that former 49er great Dwight Clark was diagnosed with ALS. Alabama great Kevin Turner; an 8 year veteran of the NFL; died last year at 46 from ALS. He was one of the key witnesses in the CTE trials v.s. the NFL. His brain was later studied and he was found to have severe CTE damage. He was diagnosed with ALS in 2010.

Raiders stud FB Steve Smith has been battling ALS for 15 years. And sadly the Raiders and Seattle families lost a valuable person last week in Derrick Jensen.

I still remember Cowboys owner Jerry Jones last March saying he personally still didn’t think there was a link to head injuries, concussions and CTE.   That’s what players are up against.

Mark Davis & Reggie McKenzie honoring Derrick Jensen
Mark Davis & Reggie McKenzie honor former Raider Derrick Jensen before Seattle Seahawks game

Derrick Jensen Loses His Battle With ALS:

http://www.raiders.com/news/article-1/Raiders-Mourn-the-Passing-of-Derrick-Jensen/ca64a3e6-8b9d-4ceb-8815-1a93ad9ba9d0

Raiders super sub and special teams captain Derrick Jensen lost his battle with ALS last week after being diagnosed in 2012. Jensen was 60. He was a key member of the Raiders and won 2 Super Bowls. In the first 5 minutes of Super Bowl XVIII, Derrick blocked a Washington punt and recovered it in the end zone for a touchdown that set the tone for a huge win against a team that most in the media at that time was calling the best ever.   I remember pretty much going insane as a kid when it happened.

derrick jensen 2
Davis & Derrick Jensen

Derrick was a solid and valuable player, but he also was a long time respected scout for the Seattle Seahawks with over 2 decades of amazing evaluations.   He was beloved for his kindness and respect towards people. He was eclectic and fun and went out of his way to just say hi to Seattle staffers.   You would be hard pressed to find a more loved guy. His death was a great loss to the NFL. The Seahawks have renamed their draft room in his honor. Sadly Derrick lost his wife Amanda in 2009 in a car accident and now his 19 y/o son Davis (in honor of Al? I don’t know) must go on without his parents.

http://www.seahawks.com/news/2017/04/07/seahawks-remember-longtime-scout-derrick-jensen

A 5-Star Must Read Book on Players & Their Families Fighting CTE:

Many are reading this book in one sitting.  If you want to get a raw, in depth look at what players & families go through with CTE, read Cyndy Feasel’s book “After the Cheering Stops”. Her late husband Grant Feasel; a former Seattle Seahawk OL; was struck by CTE and this story is an amazing one. I can’t recommend this book enough. Grant sadly, was far from being the only one.  RIP Grant.

http://afterthecheeringstops.com/

NFL Royalty Now Struggling:

When Ken Stabler’s partner Kim Ross-Bush came out talking about the CTE symptoms that Ken was suffering from, it seemed that more people started to listen.   Sadly, the list of players struggling continues to grow.

Cowboys great Tony Dorsett has done several national interviews talking about his battle with depression, mood swings and extreme memory loss.  Ex-Raider/Eagle/49er RB Charlie Garner says he can’t go anywhere without someone coming with him because he forgets where his car is & has trouble in conversations.

NFL Royalty and super man Gale Sayers barely talks anymore.  One of the most articulate and smart people in NFL history, can no longer remember some people or even carry on simple conversations.

http://www.espn.com/espn/otl/story/_/id/9931754/former-nfl-stars-tony-dorsett-leonard-marshall-joe-delameilleure-show-indicators-cte-resulting-football-concussions

Detroit Lion legend Mel Farr died in 2015 and it was shown he had severe CTE which he suspected.  At one time Mel had the largest African American owned company in the U.S.

Frank Wycheck, Mike Adamle, and so many others are now saying they are afraid of what lies ahead with their symptoms.  Raider great George Atkinson says it’s hitting him as well and Phil Villapiano says it’s the scary thing everyone is talking about.  Their memories fading, while their thoughts get lost in a fog.

http://www.espn.com/espn/otl/story/_/id/18585718/former-detroit-lions-rb-mel-farr-had-stage-3-cte-died-2015

These aren’t dumb football players folks. These are smart, articulate, and successful men who contributed great things to the NFL and they are now losing their faculties. AND STILL, no support from the NFL.

The NFL Needs a Wake Up Call:

http://www.myajc.com/sports/football/fate-dwight-clark-gale-sayers-reaffirm-nfl-not-doing-enough/oh3s4BqtAVhI6nye7XQbEN/

People have changed in our country and some leave their brains at the door.  If some belong to a political party, love a football team or belong to an organization, they will blindly defend it no matter what.  Right and wrong no longer matters to them.  It’s like they take it personally if someone questions what they are a part of.  It’s pathetic and insecure to be honest.  You can’t fix problems unless you admit them.

The NFL see’s that same phenomena.  “Don’t be a hater, don’t be negative; you are a troll”. It’s like a bunch of cult members are walking around saying question nothing. To admit a terrible mistake by something they belong to or like is out of the question.

“I’m loyal from the crib to the grave. Win lose or tie, loyal til I die”. These are sayings that are seen often in fan groups of all NFL teams.   Unfortunately the league, the teams, and the owners don’t feel the same. They will move to another city without a worry, buy off politicians and not support the players that made them rich while not thinking twice about it. Their goal is one thing; make more money.  Some NFL fans are the abused spouses of the sporting world and they don’t even know it; enabling the NFL to the end blindly defending anything they do, or fail to do.

Cheerleaders had to sue to get minimum wage and the overwhelming support in social media was for the NFL. The names these women were called by some male fans on social media shouldn’t be repeated. The Ref’s were destroyed by fans for wanting to be full time employees with full time training and salaries. This would greatly improve the calls in games and improve the integrity of the game. Sadly the “cash strapped” NFL said they couldn’t afford to pay them full time. Most fans backed the NFL and told refs to get other jobs if you don’t like it.

The treatment of the retired players is worse. Our society has lost it’s ability to be compassionate, especially to elderly people. If I wrote a story about Derek Carr giving someone a ride, I’d get thousands of readers an hour. Talk about the sad demise of a great player from the past and the numbers drop significantly with a yawn. It’s too sad and no one wants to bother.

What Can We Do:

It will take maturity and confidence from fans to create change. First, we can listen. We can listen to the players and their families.   We can support them by complaining to the league and owners in social media or in actually writing letters that we need to respect them and their needs. A little bit of effort goes a long way. The NFL was going to do nothing in the Ray Rice case until fans were outraged when TMZ proved them to be liars.

The NBA had a known racist, Donald Sterling as an owner.  They knew and supported him for years through his racist actions and rants.  They defended him until a video came out that was seen by fans.  The outrage was epic and public opinion forced the NBA to get rid of him.  Professional leagues morals are based on money & public opinion.

We can also support pages, stories and the players themselves.   Instead of putting up that 1000th team meme or 5000th cat photo on Facebook, teach yourself and/or your kids about the history of the teams and the great players from the past. These players sacrificed a great deal to play football and many were extremely loyal to the cities and fans.  Some became integral parts of the community with many living and dying in the area they played in. We need to stop acting like 18 y/o gang members and respect all players from all teams. You can hate a team or player in fun but remember we are all in this game called life, and that is much more important than any football rivalry or team loyalty.

What is happening to retired players is unacceptable and we need to be the answer. You can still love football and the players in it while not condoning some of the actions of the NFL and the owners. The NFL’s actions show it is loyal to one thing; money. It is their god. Well it’s not mine. They are not loyal to players, fans, cheerleaders, cities and even the refs.   I’m not letting ANY corporation or person use me or disrespect me, and you shouldn’t either. Look at their actions, and not the words. Love the game, and the teams and players but be respectful of what’s going on.  And if we are as loyal and respectful to the game as we say, let’s make a difference and show the NFL that the sport is about the people in it, and not the profit from it.